Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Who needs sleep?

So who needs sleep right? Well apparently not me :/.

I do not know what is going on with me lately. I know that I always have a fear when I go to sleep that my daughter will not be alive when I wake up in the morning. I wake up with a sick feeling in my stomach and so I get up and go check in on her and check her blood sugar. We are 5 years into diabetes management and some days are better than others. Aly is always positive about it (thank god!!) but the more and more that I get into diabetes education and the more I learn it freaks me out more and more. I absolutely LOVE doing diabetes education!! I would NOT change it for the world but it really shows me more and more the nasty side of the disease. It also shows me some positives and learning about the upcoming sciences and products is awesome but there is still that motherly side that is just scared. Scared of my daughter not waking up the next morning, dropping too low and not recognizing it, she is only 8 years old.

The last several weeks I have been going on about 5 hours of sleep a night, I know some people can do it (like my husband) but wow, ya I am not really one of them. I am so tired by the mid day that it isnt funny but some how I will get a 2nd wind and still stay up until midnight or 1am facebooking and checking Aly's blood sugars every 2 hours until I go to bed.

I sometimes wonder if it is because I always put so much on my plate, organizing a Making Tracks for Celiacs 5K Walk, Acoustics for a Cure, Shopping for Hope, Sizzle and Shop, Diabetes Education, My daycare business, and being a mom/wife. I love everything I have on my plate but sometimes I just need more  time in the day.

I just don't know :/ I know it will all work out in the end, my princess will live a long fabulous life, I will get to educate others about diabetes, and we will see what I choose to do with the daycare.

Sorry for my rambling I think I need sleep :)


Cara said...

Bless your heart. I don't know what it's like to have that fear (I'm the one with diabetes). But I know my mom had many sleepless nights when I was a child.
Naps? Maybe they'll be your friend. :)

Insulin Princess said...

Naps would be nice if I didn't run an in-home daycare :) 5:30pm never comes soon enough ... haha